Who Am I Again?

If had to choose between forgetting who I am and forgetting who everyone else was, I would chose to forget myself. Why? Well, for one thing, I really don’t want to forget the people I love like my kids or husband, though it would be kind of hard to understand how I could not know who I am and yet remember them.

At least if I only forgot myself and everything about me, I wouldn’t feel as lost as if I didn’t know who anyone was. This way I would at least have the security of knowing that the people around me had my best interests at heart and were likely trying to help me get my memory back. I think I could sleep better at night, otherwise I would be terrified of everything and wonder if the people around me wanted to do me harm.

Yes, it would be awful to have no memory of yourself, but at least if you knew the people around you they could show you lots of pictures, videos, etc. that you might be in and help you to get your memory back. Otherwise I would be in a scary world of strangers and I know that I likely wouldn’t believe much of what they told me at all. If I remembered them, I would at least trust them. That seems way better than having to live in fear of everything.

Forgetting who others are is what happens in dementia and I really wouldn’t wish that on anyone because I have seen what it does to a family. If I forget myself, it would be very frustrating, but if I forget everyone that would be more tragic for them since they would have to reassure me they were my friends, etc. and I might try to get away from them instead of trust that they wanted to help me get my memory back.

Sure, it would also be frustrating for them if I didn’t know who I was, but I think they would be more upset if I acted like I hated them or were afraid of them if I didn’t know them, so yes, I would much rather have them have to explain to me who I was, than have to live in a world where everyone was a stranger and it all seemed scary and that I didn’t have a home or friends or anything.